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we can haz run game?
Jake Crandall / Advertiser / USA TODAY NETWORK

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BSD Mailbag 9.23.22

Our answers to your burning questions!

Out of boredom, I watched Paul Finebaum talk about the Penn. St./Auburn game. He said “Penn. St. is a /shrug/ goood team, not a great team by any means , but a goood team. My question is...How silly will he look after Penn. St. beats Bama in the semi-finals and Georgia in the championship?—LionfanAllan

I’m not so sure that Finebaum cares. He’s made a not-insignificant amount of money off of his “SEC is supreme” personality, and he’s not going to let something as trivial as Penn State actually being a great team get in the way of that.

How has Mustipher played so far this year? I don’t hear his name as often as I expected.— PSU1979dude

Of course you’re not hearing his name – he was the one known great commodity on the d-line, so the opposing offensive coordinators are double teaming him on like every play. He’s swallowing up o-linemen at a rate that allows Chop Robinson and Adisa Isaac to swarm the quarterback after one great sidestep.

Being on the West Coast this weekend’s game is at 12:30 for me. That evening I am going to a craft beer festival. Seeing as I have a gameday tradition of imbibing a certain pumpkin ale (VERY high ABV) throughout the game, should I take it easy this week (it’s only CMU) to be ready for the festival, or should I do my regular and hope I don’t die of alcohol poisoning at the festival?—Tmbgiants_3

If it’s worked so far this year, I think you should take one for the team and continue to drink the pumpkin ale until we lose. RIP your liver, but it’s only weird if it doesn’t work.

WE WANT CHIP-MUNKS, WE WANT CHIP-MUNKS, WE WANT CHIP-MUNKS!!!—LocalYocal

Said no one in State College ever? But for the Just the Stats post, after non-con is when I normally start posting them and this year will be no different (so next week). The Big Ten screwing us over by kicking off the season on the road in a conference game is not going to mess with my schedule, dammit!

Why is the football position of “edge rusher” always stylized as “EDGE?” It’s not an acronym (that I’m aware of), or abbreviation. Is this something that is in the AP style guide?—Precious Roy

I’ve never seen a sports-specific AP style guide (not that one doesn’t exist, just that I haven’t seen it) so this to me seems like a widely accepted illogical abbreviations. A lot of teams and journalists just use MIKE to describe a middle linebacker as well, which, like EDGE, wouldn’t make a lot of sense to the casual football fan.

Cliff is older than six current starting NFL QB’s. Justin Fields (Bears), Davis Mills (Texans), Trevor Lawrence (Jags), Mac Jones (Patriots), Jalen Hurts (Eagles), and Trey Lance (49’ers). How would each NFL team’s fortunes change if Cliff was there QB right now?—Smee

I honestly am not sure about individual teams’ QB situations besides Washington, where I’m not sure Jahan Dotson could be getting more accolades with Cliff as his QB. We might have another win, though.

So this is Cliff’s team, and I know CJF would never, but - if you were CJF - would you mumble something about precautions and start Allar vs CMU and jNW, for no other reason than making Michigan game plan for two very different QBs? To clarify, the team would know Cliff was starting against Michigan no matter what and hopefully only come out under circumstances like we saw at Auburn, but messing with UM would be nice.—vern05

No. I think Cliff should go out there and play a series or two, not more than the first quarter, and Allar should get the bulk of time, though.

With the seeming emergence of the run game, does PSU use this game to go run heavy this week to keep sharpening the run blocking, keep it balanced like they have so far, or if we’re up by a bunch (nothing is given) keep our first team in really late in the game to humiliate OSU style? (i’m joking about the last one, but needed to make the dig)—Big Maple

We sharpened our run blocking last week, so I’m not sure that running the ball against CMU will do more for our confidence in that regard than Auburn did. I think they’ll do whatever works – so if CMU starts out the game by selling out to stop Singleton, I think we’ll have passing TDs. If they don’t know which to focus on, we’ll eat them up on both sides. We’ll be run-heavy in the second half, though, because the team will be ahead and just running the clock down.

1. At Auburn, 1st half - 13 carries, 50 yards. 2nd half - 17 carries, 181 yards. What the heck did the coaches do at halftime for that change in production?

2. On a scale from gas station sushi to a Ruth’s Chris tomahawk ribeye steak with a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle, how great would it be to Auburn Michigan and anOSU this season. (Yep, Auburn is now a verb)—RWReese

1. Our teams under Franklin have always been good at halftime adjustments, both on offense and defense. This staff is no different – they go over what worked and what didn’t, and change things up to have better success. Similar to the better run game, we also stopped them cold on defense in the second, not relying on great red zone play to slow down Auburn. That’s the halftime adjustments too (and no more QB runs for first downs when it was 3rd and like 25).

Friends of my wife are getting married this December and I was invited and cajoled to go (by my wife) to the bachelor party happening in November. He wants to go to a Commanders game (an auspicious start to a marriage IMO) and we’ll arrive in DC on Saturday and hang out for the day before going to the game on Sunday.

I’m not particularly good friends with the guy, more like acquaintances that chat while the ladies do their thing at events. How beholden am I to hang out with him and his other friends (whom I don’t know)on Saturday, and would it be a breach of etiquette to go to a bar and watch the PSU game instead of sightseeing or whatever? At this point I don’t think there’s a set plan for Saturday.—skarocksoi

Since it’s a small party, unfortunately I think you’re going to have to stick with them. I think you would do well to steer them to a place where you can watch the game, though; if you’re looking for a bar, I (of course) recommend Exiles on U St in DC. If you’re looking for some place where you can watch the game while they do other things, I’d go to the MGM at National Harbor, or one of the many Top Golf locations in the DMV.

I heard a first team All American, SEC player of the year, couldn’t make it as a run-on quarterback for Penn. St.

Is the B1G really THAT much better than the SEC?—LionfanAllan

The Big Ten east is, for sure.

Please don’t come @ me, but I am wondering why they didn’t start selling beer at the home opener against Ohio U? Would have been interested to see how that went towards the overall atmosphere. I’ve been to a handful of Pitt games since they’ve started to sell beer at the games and it wasn’t a huge difference. It was more like a nice option if you wanted a couple while you were inside the stadium.—SlippySlappy

I think the second home game is a great time to do it. It’s likely to be less crowded than the Ohio game (a lot of folks come up for the first game of the season, and would skip this one especially since we’re at home again next week). And a noon game itself is the perfect time because folks are less likely to show up already drunk. I’m in favor of this way of approaching it.

Do you ever just think of things that might have been and get all melancholy? What if I took that job? What if I stayed in a relationship with that person? What if we were playing Eastern Michigan instead of Central Michigan when the whole “think fast, run fast” thing dropped?—mattinglywasking

I honestly am not sure what EMU has to do with the Eli Manning clip except for the initials, but I don’t know a single person that doesn’t ponder what might have been – to most of our detriment, surely. No one’s that well adjusted, right??

Why do people keep posting UFO videos of some blurry ship with lights? Do we really think a UFO is going to fly 10 lightyears to Earth with a set of halogen bulbs? UFOs do not have lights. They have technology to scan and analyze landscapes below without a backyard floodlight. What PSU football games are you going to this year?—PSU1979dude

It’s really self-centered of humans to think we’re the only intelligent life in the universe, and our explorers would be smarter than that. And also, I have season tickets and went to Auburn so will be at 8 games.

When do you think this year’s wrestling schedule will be announced and how do you think the BIG will screw over Penn State this year in scheduling? Having to travel to Iowa again would be so BIG-like. Almost like hosting the BIG tournament in a pandemic year. Yes I am a bitter person sometimes when it comes to the BIG.—wvlion

Last year’s schedule was announced before the 23rd of September, so I think we should expect it any time. And I really doubt we’ll be going to Iowa. As for the Big Ten tournament – it was our turn to host, but I did hear that when they start the round robin again for the hosting, we would be the first location to make up for it – so maybe in 2024 or 2025.

Seems like David Taylor’s world gold and Zain Retherford’s silver should be a bigger deal on BSD. What gives?—kavija66

Most of the folks who write for BSD don’t follow wrestling that closely, and I’m not as involved as I used to be. Go ahead and make a fanpost or fanshot and we can bump it to the front page!

There’s some great questions here this week—Cari’s preseason is obviously over and there’s no more time for dilly-dallying!—48-14

Why do Ultimate Frisbee teams practice? (and don’t @ me about it’s “Ultimate”. It’s a football. It’s a baseball. It’s a basketball. It’s a soccer ball. It’s a tennis ball. The sport is named after the dang implement. So Frisbee it is.)—Smee

I mean, even balance, aim, and wrist flicking need practice to be half decent! Otherwise you’ll be like me and revel in the glory of cornhole days of yore.

My wife planned a big thing for my birthday this year. She rented house and got a bunch of my friends to come up for the game this weekend. She’s been planning this since March. Monday, 4days before we’re to arrive, the Airbnb canceled on us. We’ve found another house, so crisis averted. My question is, how much should I pee on the original house’s lawn on Saturday? Is a normal pee sufficient? Should I enlist my friends to also pee there? Can I tag it in FourSquare as the best place to pee outdoors? Do people still use FourSquare?—InflammableDumpster

I think the best thing you can do is leave a scathing review on airbnb and make sure they know what’s going on. Those petty things are fun but ultimately since they will have no idea who did it, won’t change anything—the hosts won’t change their behavior. But messing with their ability to be hosts will likely help make sure no one else has to deal with what you dealt with.

You’re at the grocery store doing your weekly shopping. What are two items where you’re perfectly fine getting the store-brand, and what are two items where you must go name-brand? Asking as a guy who decided to go cheap on aluminum foil last week instead of getting the usual Reynolds Wrap, and regretted it about ten seconds after opening it, and was sent back to the store by PO’d wife to get Reynolds Wrap—LTFT

I love wegmans brand almost everything, so if they have a version of something I’ll most likely get it. But I agree with someone in the comments who said, paper goods like paper towels tend to be not as good in the store brands.

Kate Bush, premadonna?—mattinglywasking

Dang, second Kate Bush question this year! I still don’t know anything about her to have an opinion, sorry.

According to the CDC, the average ‘Murican woman is 5’ 4” tall and weighs 171 lbs. (29 on the BMI chart. That’s the top of the “overweight” category and just short of “obese”). The average ‘Murican man is 5’ 9” and weighs 200 lbs. (29 on the BMI chart. Same as above). With that in mind, are low-flow shower heads skinny people’s way of lashing out at the world?—Smee

Not just low flow shower heads—shower heads that are installed at like 6.5 feet. Moderately tall people shouldn’t have to duck to wash their hair, and should have a steady stream strong enough to have your hair actually be rinsed.

So, I had no idea of who or what “Dennis” was. I had company in town and didn’t do much BSDing until Monday, and when asked, no one offered me an answer. So I tried to piece together why the name Dennis was pertinent to PSU v Auburn. I did some googling, and saw there was a hurricane Dennis that came through Alabama in 2005 and may have caused some damage, or an Auburn-fan reported that Dennis hurt a loved one or damaged property. I felt confident I solved the problem...I now feel dumb knowing it was Swift_Retribution’s irresponsible coworker.

Which got me thinking- have you ever said or gone about your life thinking or saying something, believing you were right, to then have your mind blown by the truth? Another example: when young, I thought the proper phrase was “for all intensive purposes”, instead of the real one, but was rudely corrected in conversation by an ex’s mother, who basically called me stupid because of where I was raised.— mrb23
I think I’ve answered a similar question before, and my answer is still—I can’t remember anything specific but I’m sure it’s happened! Would love to hear about others’ experiences in the comments, though.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is staring at Ryan Day’s artificially colored facial hair, and 10 is staring at Pat Fitzgerald’s pasty white naked chest, how much do you hate Dennis?— swift_retribution
A twelve. Definitely, definitely a twelve.

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