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Off Topic Wednesday: The Rankening XXIV coaches edition




It's been a very long time since we had a rankening thread. I unilaterally decided that this would be number XXIV. That's 24 for those of you that don't speak Latin. With all the talk about coaches and their faults, let's talk about our coaches. You know the guys and gals that guided our dream of one dreams of one day playing linebacker for Penn State and then the Steelers or whoever drafted us as long as it wasn't the cowboys. In the tradition of Rankening here at BSD you list 5 you liked and then 5b is for the one you didn't like. You know, like Pitt.

Here are mine.

1. Ty Hall - Coach Hall was my high school wrestling coach. He was a state champion for Montgomery back sometime in the 70s or 80s then wrestled at Maryland before he partied his way out of College Park. Coach Hall was a 110% certified nut, but in a fun and entertaining way. I was a bad wrestler on a pretty bad team. We had a couple of guys that made it to districts and maybe to regionals, but nobody ever made it to states. The Mountaineers are the only school in Lycoming County to not crown a state champion. Yet. Coach was famous for getting very, very wound up during matches. So wound up that we once lost to Bald Eagle Nittany 63 to (-2). That's right we had a negative score because the ref penalized him for losing his shit. At Benton who we actually beat my senior year, you told our heavyweight, "Barnsey, I want you to go out there and EAT THIS KIDS LUNCH!" Another memorable moment at Benton involved him having us dress in the hallway because the Hughes Brothers had left the doors to the girls' locker room wide open on a February evening and I swear the locker room was covered in cold mud. I about died in a car accident my freshmen year of college and Coach came to visit me at Geisinger. Last I saw him as at the McDonald's near the outlets in McElhattan. Last I heard of him he played a round of golf with my uncle at White Deer. If you've played a round of golf at White Deer there's a good chance you played with my uncle. I am pretty sure he lives there in a tent off the 10th green or something like that.

2. Dave Campbell was my assistant wrestling coach, study hall monitor, history teacher, and athletic director. A bit of an asshole, but I still loved him. He's now the superintendent or something like that at Line Mountain. I beat Coach Campbell in chess to win the 1989 Coach Campbell's study hall chess tournament. He made sure we had money to stop at McDonald's in Danville or Western Sizzlin' in Bloomsburg whenever we wrestled out that way. Neither Coach Hall or Campbell could navigate all that good and they relied on me to way find to places like Troy Junior/Senior High School or the McDonald's near Wyoming Area where everyone that drank the orange juice got the shits.

3. John Zalonis - was never really my coach, my football dreams died at the end of 8th grade, but I have always regretted quitting and never getting a chance to play for him. Coach Z always encouraged me in wrestling and was a kind person on a staff of football coaches I don't recall for their kindness.

4. Chris Molino - a long time coach of various sports at South Williamsport and Montoursville. He had a great sense of humor and took a lot of ribbing for being a Tennessee Volunteers fan. I am not really sure how that happened. I remember running laps around the football field in the snow and watching a lunar eclipse with him and my teammates. We had a mini science lesson about eclipses and then he teased me about running slowly and having a ugly hat.

5. My Dad - he coached soccer and football and regularly lost his shit. Hell he got a red card in a soccer game at the Armory on Penn Street in Williamsport.

5b. John Jean and Scott Hill - they were the stereotypical meathead football coaches of my 8th grade team. Coach Jean spent more time working on his biceps than anything else. Coach Hill had his mullet permed. That's right a permed mullet. For some reason, "SLAY!" was a catchphrase among the boys on the football team. As a motivational ploy before a game then stepped out from behind the chalkboard with custom made t-shirts. They thought they'd use the SLAY mantra to get us pumped up for our game against Muncy, but you know being meatheads the shirts said SLEIGH! That's right SLEIGH. I'll never forget that moment for as long as I live.

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