The Rankening: The Beers I Drank in College

This list is strictly for the cheap mass produced beers that I drank when I was in college at Pennsyvania's most prestigious institute of higher learning. You know it. It's Shippensburg University of Pennsylvania. I will not delve into any of your fancy shmancy hoopty doopty beers you snoots drink. Lastly, the vast super majority of my beer drinking was during these five years. I drank way more between 18 and 21 than I have between 21 and 47. On to the list. In order from worst to best!

5b. It's got to be Stoney's. We were excited to get some with our proceeds from Happy Hour at 79 Bard Meadows. We knew it was a Pennsylvania beer. It was local, regional, Pennsylvania pride, the whole bit. I can say without a doubt that it was the single worst beer ever to cross my lips. I had one. That was enough.

5. Natural Light. This was the go to beer at keg parties in Shippensburg and when you were a freshmen and knew somebody who know somebody who could go to the distributor to get beer, you didn't have much of a choice. It was always warm and rank. When you had a keg of Natty Light you didn't bother with putting it on ice.

4. Ice House - worse case of the beer shits I ever had. Next beer.


Now on to the beers that I actually liked.

3. Miller High Life - Happy Hour at 79 Bard Meadows was a big hit for two reasons. One we paid a few bucks extra for High Life instead of Natty Light. The Champagne of Beers is a smooth easy drinking beer. You certainly spring for some ice when you buy High Life. The other reason was that fact that Spizz could get you any drugs you wanted. One of the first times in my life I realized my life might be in danger was when I went with Spizz somewhere up on South Mountain so he could stock up on coke and pot. They were making meth in a trailer in the back. It was harrowing.

2. Killian's Irish Red - this was our beer of choice for the rest of the weekend after we raked in the big bucks for happy hours. On reflection, it's pretty nasty. I'm not sure you can get it.

1. Yuengling Lager - This is easily the best cheap beer for your buck. A fresh keg is truly God's work. You needed a special tap for a keg of it and the distributor didn't always have the taps, otherwise we would have bought it much more often. Once I got legal, it's all I have every really ordered at a bar, unless it's not availabe.

I guess I should give Rolling Rock some love, too. Rocks and Wings at the Hot Point Inn was always good fun, but I hear the stuff is made in New Jersey now.

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